What Are Your Surroundings Saying About Your Inner Man?

October 11, 2009 at 11:02 pm | Posted in Articles | 11 Comments
Tags: , , , ,

Six months ago my house was so clean that you could eat out of my toilets. My papers were neatly filed on my desk. My clothes were categorized in my closet according to season. Each of my 7 children’s clothing items were labeld with their initials and folded precisely in their own drawers. Whatever I needed, I could easily find because everything had a place. Anything that was out of place was immediately spotted because disorder is so apparent within an orderly environment. Yes order eminated from every nook and cranny of my home, including every closet, under every bed and even in the garage.

Last week tears welled up in my eyes as frustration set in on me. My desk was so messy that I couldn’t even find something that I laid on it just moments earlier. The floors were so dirty that we needed to wear shoes in the house. My children’s clothes were scattered everywhere: under beds, in toy chests, under the couch and in drawers that they did not belong in. I couldn’t find anything without going on a scavenger hunt through piles and piles of clothes, papers and toys! Junk ( or what appeared to be junk due to the disregard with which it was treated) was shoved into every nook and cranny of the house. There was total disorder, complete chaos.

Today I spent 7 hours cleaning my room up. As I was sitting here at my clean desk reflecting on the labor I did today, which only got my room about 70% restored to what it was, I had an epiphany. My surroundings were a reflection of the state of my inner being. You see six months ago, I experienced a life-changing trauma. It was a devastating event that I was not even sure I would survive emotionally, as depression was suffocating me and insanity offered itself as a welcomed escape. Before that heart-stopping moment, I was in a place of total peace. I was operating in my purpose, sure of my destiny and enjoying the effectiveness of my existence on earth. But that all suddenly changed when one of my sons was raped by a family member. I was thrown into confusion, anger, sadness, etc…

Little by little and day by day, as I slipped deeper and deeper into inner turmoil and chaos; my surroundings began to change. It was not intentional. I tried to keep it all together as best as I could. I was still cleaning and it seemed that I was doing the same things that I had always done, but I wasn’t getting the same results.

I realize now that I could have bought the best cleaning products on the market and cleaned daily. It wouldn’t have mattered. My soul was emitting chaotic energy and that energy controlled the temperature of my environment. As I look around me right now, I have those tears in my eyes again. But they are not tears of frustration this time. Instead they are tears of relief.

My surroundings in this almost clean room speak of the peace that is being restored and the inner order that is returning. I am not 100% quite yet, maybe only 70% like my room. Nonetheless I am pressing my way back into the energy of God’s grace. His rhythm is harmonizing with my soul and I see myself not only being restored, but becoming better than I ever was before!

What are your surroundings saying about your inner man?

In His Strength,

Prophetess Laneen Haniah

Dr. Intimacy




RSS feed for comments on this post. TrackBack URI

  1. An article of excellence, on excellence. You went deep. Very insightful and heartfelt. Thank you.

    Fran Briggs

  2. this speaks about my situation, I understand why my house looks the way it does, because I believe the spirit of depression is there, I’m dealing with raising a special needs child, which is not easy, and even though people tell you they understand, I guess i feel that they really don’t understand how i feel, Thank you for this, it came at a time where i feel like gving up! please keep the David family in your prayers.

  3. I praise God for you and your transparency. I too went through something grevious and although I have accomplished a lot during this time the greif has turned into depression. The joy of the Lord that is my strength seem to be vanishing as I began to do things in my own strength. Praise God for His Grace!

    I have had to face the fact that I was battling depression and didn’t even realize it. But now that I see it I am taking the steps to come out of it i.e., staying in the presence of God, the word of God and creating an atmosphere of that is conducive to who I am in Christ.

    Thank you for sharing and hopefully we can relect and do a self check so that we may know “what our surroundings are saying about our inner man”.

    It is only by the Lords mercy that we are not consumed because His compassion fails not but is new every morning. Great is thy faithfulness.

  4. This morning early as I prayed and made declarations I began to put everything in order in my bedroom. My husband came in the room and he too began to put away his items that were in the room. Amazingly, he has been preaching and teaching a message about order. Today I have someone in my office filing because of the paperwork everywhere. My surroundings are prophesying to me that there is more work than I can handle and I need to do what I should be doing and that is preparing for the ministry full time opposed to working for the ministry. So, today I aqm making one step additional to prepare for the transistion.

  5. Hi Prophetess,
    I am ending my 6th day of this 40 day journey. It’s been an “interesting” day, but all in all it’s been well. I did two conference calls for Gifted Clay today. I dealt more with my own overconsumption of food as I shared with others on the call. I realize that there are so many reasons I’ve overeaten throughout my 39 years of living. It’s been a pattern for so long, through every experience, highs and lows. I have used food as an escape and as a destination—both. It causes me to examine everything and all things. This has been a day of reflection and dialogue. Many thoughts. I’m seeking The Father for wisdom, knowledge and understanding of now and where this is all leading to. It’s definitely a better and a bigger place…a PROMISED place. Average is not an option. Not too many words to say at this time. I must reach for more…
    In His Name,

    P.S. Thank you so much for the detox information. Iron really does sharpen iron (smile)…of course the Word is always true.

  6. Fran,
    It wasn’t easy to release this, but I feel the balm of Gilead on my soul. I felt that I needed to share that balm with others. Thanks for reading.

  7. I know that feeling Denise,
    The molestation turned my healthy son into a “special needs child”. He is emotionally unstable and hard to deal with at times. So I don’t know specifically what it is like for you but I can relate. I just know that trying to escape into the arms of carnality perpetuated the pain that I was feeling. I had to come to grips with the hurt that I was feeling, the disappointment, the shame, the bitterness. It was then that I realized that in some things I will only get a breakthrough in fasting. that is why I started the 100 days of consecration and took it to the next level of the 40 days of fasting.

    You will definitely be in our prayers as I am sure I will be in yours. So glad that sharing helped ease your pain. 🙂

  8. Marlene,

    It’s amazing how many of us are going through this my sister. We don’t stop to console ourselves. We just keep going like the energizer bunny thinking that we will never come to end of ourselves. Then something forces us to stop, we look around and realize that we have not at all kept it together as well as we thought we had. Then we must feel all of the pain that we tried to pretend wasn’t there. But that’s when the healing finally begins! Let our healing be quick Father, now that we have acknowledged our pain!

  9. Pastor Victoria,

    I would rather say that your inner man is prophesying to your surroundings that help is on the way. You are getting things in order, setting a structure that your employees, volunteers and servants will follow as they quickly arrive. Keep prophesying and good for you for taking charge of your life and your surroundings in spite of not having all of the conveniences at this time.

  10. Melody,

    It was great speaking with you today. It was so good to know that I have a soldier to travel with on this journey. My day was fruitful. My soul felt strong although my body was weak. I look forward to us both coming out on the other side of this fast victoriously changed!

  11. I can’t say that I am not devastated by what happened and as we all know these things in life we can overcome but they are difficult to forget. The enemy will always try to bring this up to make you feel as if you have failed in some way, but lo and behold you understand that just as your experiences made you as strong as you are today, it will also be the same for your son. Often times when the enemy can’t get us he attacks the very thing closest to us and what is worse than hurting a womans child, he seeks whom he may devour but Yahweh has still made him your foot stool. I choose to speak life because there were people like you who were there to speak it to me when I was trying to overcome the memories of being molested and constantly harassed. I was reading a scripture today and hope it encourages you. Hebrews 12:12-13 which says, Therefore strengthen the hands which hang down, and the feeble knees, and make straight paths for your feet, so that what is lame may not be dislocated, but rather be healed. I will continue to pray for all of you and know that I love you very much.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Blog at WordPress.com.
Entries and comments feeds.

%d bloggers like this: