40 Days of Fasting – Day 17

October 19, 2009 at 9:22 pm | Posted in Fasting, ganoderma | Leave a comment
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Monday October 19, 2009

The Soul (mind, will, emotions)

FRUSTRATION! Why am I having these stupid dreams?! Why did it take me until 3:00am to fall asleep?! Why do I have a splitting migraine this morning?! What is the point of all of my labor? None of it seems to be paying off!!!

The Personal Goal

I don’t want to set personal goals today. I feel like quitting. I really want to give up on this whole idea! But since I am writing I might as well set one… sigh. Ok I need to drink some veggie juice today and try to eat a little more than I did yesterday. I also need to get some cleaning done and do my girls’ hair. There, goals set…

The Body

I feel terrible. My head has not hurt this bad since I first started the cleanse. This headache is really intense. I know the greater part of it is the lack of sleep. I probably only slept for about 2 hours. Still though, I just thought I would be feeling better by now. I have minor pains but it’s not too bad. My eyes are really bothering me though. I don’t know if it is allergies or lupus – both ailments cause eye dryness and irritation and so does Candida – so who knows. I also have sores in my mouth which will make eating extremely difficult today!

The Juice

I made the veggie juice. I call it green juice. It is made of spinach, parsley, green apple, celery and cucumber. I like to throw in a little ginger for an extra kick. It tasted pretty decent. I actually miss drinking it and I am glad I got it down. Hopefully it will help me eliminate today. No ganoderma today. I just can’t allow the caffiene in my system. I do believe the herb is helping me to get it through caffienated coffee at this point is just not an option. Maybe once the fast is over on occasion but caffiene is something I am working to get out of my life!

The Detox Process

Speaking of elimination, it’s a no show. I feel bloated and constipated. I obviously just don’t know what I am doing here because nothing is going right. I need to do an enema or SWF but I just really don’t want to. My bowels need to be moving on their own! I don’t know what to do. I am at a loss.

The Human Influencers

A sister called me from Orlando today. Her name is Pastor Joy. She is one of my social networking friends whom I don’t actually know other than by our profiles. She said she felt led to call me and I so appreciated her obedience. We prayed together and it was powerful. It was really encouraging to speak to her even though it had nothing to do with fasting, she lifted my spirit.

The Spirit

I feel bad tonight. The condition of my body today — extreme fatigue, sleepiness, burning eyes and splitting migraine – put a damper on my energy for prayer and study. Other than the prayer with Joy I did nothing else. I plan to read a bit after posting but I just feel like I am not hearing God’s direction anymore about what to do. I blew it somewhere. I have gotten off track. Lord please help me!

The Daily Grind

I spent all morning minding my baby girls. Dad was gone all day so it was just me and my little ladies. They are always fun and challenging and a lot of work. I gave baths and started my 1 year old’s hair. Her hair is a nightmare. It usually takes about four to five hours to do it, and that’s not even anything elaborate. It just gets very tangled and I have to do it very slowly to minimize pain and hair loss (never mind my sanity). I was really going to cut her hair down today so it would be easier to manage but I really don’t want to do it. I think I am going to have to though. Hair day is a torture on her and me, besides she has plenty of years to grow it back.

Other than that just chores and labor all day. I said my body kept me from praying but my schedule today was probably more of a factor. Days when Dad is not around it really makes a difference. And just think, he is looking for some part-time work that will keep him out of the home daily! We need the money but Lawd can my nerves survive, LOL.

The Daily Reflection

Frustration is blinding… It’s amazing; I do feel overcome by frustration right now and it seems to have blinded me. It’s like I am in a fog. I can’t find my direction. I don’t even remember why I started this thing.

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