Are You Wife Material?

October 25, 2009 at 11:21 pm | Posted in Articles, Marriage and Dating | Leave a comment
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A little girl attracts a playa, while a woman attracts a man:

A whore attracts a pimp, while a wife attracts a husband!

This was just on my heart tonight because so many single Christian women talk to me about wanting to get married. I sympathize with my Christian sisters that come to me sharing their desire to marry a nice Christian brother that will love the Lord and treat them right. Even though I have been married for 10 years now, I will never, ever forget what it was like to be a single woman desiring a husband.

Nonetheless I have learned something over the years and it is this: There is a difference between “getting married” and “being a wife”. A lot of women want to get married but they don’t want to be a wife! Now I know that sounds crazy but in 10 years of ministering in this area I have observed this to be true. People are in love with the “ideal” of marriage yet detached from the (sometimes harsh) reality of what it means to be a spouse!

I can recall all of the relationships that ended up leading to fornication that I was involved in before I met my husband. I really wanted to get married, but I didn’t know how to be a wife. I only knew how to be a whore. I know that sounds harsh but I am voicing a reality that I lived at that time of my life. After having been raped and molested from the ages of 2-7 at various times; then continuing on into a life of promiscuity as a teenager; graduating to a life of stripping and prostituting as a young adult – all I knew was how to be a whore. That is not what I wanted to be, but it was all that I knew to be.

At the same time, my emotional development had been literally suspended during the years of abuse. This is typical of most sexual abuse victims. We continue to grow physically and often times even mentally and intellectually. However, emotionally we remain suspended in time. I was trapped in an emotional time warp; a desperate little girl looking for a hero to rescue and redeem me. I was a victim who continued to get victimized by villains!

A couple of months before I met my husband God told me to begin to read and recite proverbs 31 daily and to pray for my husband-to-be. I had no idea who this husband was or when or how I’d meet him. As a matter of fact it was preposterous thought because I had just broken off an engagement with a man whose brother I had an affair with just about a month before getting engaged to! I certainly didn’t think God was ready or willing to bless me with a husband.

I simply followed the unction of the spirit and began reciting that scripture every day. At the same time I got everything in my life in order. My house was spotlessly clean. I cooked dinner almost every night. I exercised regularly to keep my body fit and strong. I prayed fervently and had an awesome relationship with the Lord. I cleaned up my friendships and moved any and everyone out of the way that would hinder my development.

Two months after the last episode of fornication in my life, I was an empty and available vessel. At last I had become a wife. I was no longer a whore; I was no longer a little girl; I was no longer a victim. I was a grown woman that was ready for a grown man. I was a wife that was ready for a husband. When I was ready not only to get married but to really be a wife — that is when God released my husband.

It’s interesting to note that my husband Emmanuel had been celibate nearly six years before we married and had only dated one person during that time (which he regretted). He proclaimed in faith that he was just “going to wait” until God sent him his wife, and other than the one dating incident that is exactly what he did. My reason for mentioning this is to say that I believe it was me who delayed our coming together. You see, he was ready and waiting for his WIFE. He didn’t want ’round the way girl. He wanted the WIFE that he had been praying and believing God for and God could not bring us together until my life and character was a manifestation of answered prayer for my husband.

Anyone who has followed my ministry works you know I keep it raw. So let me just be true to my calling and tell it like it is! If you really want to get married you need to start becoming a wife so you can attract a husband; and if you really want that husband to be a man you need to start acting like a woman and put away your childish emotions and games. See playas are attracted to little girls and their games and pimps are attracted to hoes and their sex!

If you have an ear, hear me so that 2010 can be the year that you marry your destined soul mate!!!

In His Compassion,

Prophetess Laneen Haniah,

Dr. Intimacy

PS Want to read more about how my husband and I met? Go to our website I share our story on the site.


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