Are You Wife Material?

October 25, 2009 at 11:21 pm | Posted in Articles, Marriage and Dating | Leave a comment
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A little girl attracts a playa, while a woman attracts a man:

A whore attracts a pimp, while a wife attracts a husband!

This was just on my heart tonight because so many single Christian women talk to me about wanting to get married. I sympathize with my Christian sisters that come to me sharing their desire to marry a nice Christian brother that will love the Lord and treat them right. Even though I have been married for 10 years now, I will never, ever forget what it was like to be a single woman desiring a husband.

Nonetheless I have learned something over the years and it is this: There is a difference between “getting married” and “being a wife”. A lot of women want to get married but they don’t want to be a wife! Now I know that sounds crazy but in 10 years of ministering in this area I have observed this to be true. People are in love with the “ideal” of marriage yet detached from the (sometimes harsh) reality of what it means to be a spouse!

I can recall all of the relationships that ended up leading to fornication that I was involved in before I met my husband. I really wanted to get married, but I didn’t know how to be a wife. I only knew how to be a whore. I know that sounds harsh but I am voicing a reality that I lived at that time of my life. After having been raped and molested from the ages of 2-7 at various times; then continuing on into a life of promiscuity as a teenager; graduating to a life of stripping and prostituting as a young adult – all I knew was how to be a whore. That is not what I wanted to be, but it was all that I knew to be.

At the same time, my emotional development had been literally suspended during the years of abuse. This is typical of most sexual abuse victims. We continue to grow physically and often times even mentally and intellectually. However, emotionally we remain suspended in time. I was trapped in an emotional time warp; a desperate little girl looking for a hero to rescue and redeem me. I was a victim who continued to get victimized by villains!

A couple of months before I met my husband God told me to begin to read and recite proverbs 31 daily and to pray for my husband-to-be. I had no idea who this husband was or when or how I’d meet him. As a matter of fact it was preposterous thought because I had just broken off an engagement with a man whose brother I had an affair with just about a month before getting engaged to! I certainly didn’t think God was ready or willing to bless me with a husband.

I simply followed the unction of the spirit and began reciting that scripture every day. At the same time I got everything in my life in order. My house was spotlessly clean. I cooked dinner almost every night. I exercised regularly to keep my body fit and strong. I prayed fervently and had an awesome relationship with the Lord. I cleaned up my friendships and moved any and everyone out of the way that would hinder my development.

Two months after the last episode of fornication in my life, I was an empty and available vessel. At last I had become a wife. I was no longer a whore; I was no longer a little girl; I was no longer a victim. I was a grown woman that was ready for a grown man. I was a wife that was ready for a husband. When I was ready not only to get married but to really be a wife — that is when God released my husband.

It’s interesting to note that my husband Emmanuel had been celibate nearly six years before we married and had only dated one person during that time (which he regretted). He proclaimed in faith that he was just “going to wait” until God sent him his wife, and other than the one dating incident that is exactly what he did. My reason for mentioning this is to say that I believe it was me who delayed our coming together. You see, he was ready and waiting for his WIFE. He didn’t want ’round the way girl. He wanted the WIFE that he had been praying and believing God for and God could not bring us together until my life and character was a manifestation of answered prayer for my husband.

Anyone who has followed my ministry works you know I keep it raw. So let me just be true to my calling and tell it like it is! If you really want to get married you need to start becoming a wife so you can attract a husband; and if you really want that husband to be a man you need to start acting like a woman and put away your childish emotions and games. See playas are attracted to little girls and their games and pimps are attracted to hoes and their sex!

If you have an ear, hear me so that 2010 can be the year that you marry your destined soul mate!!!

In His Compassion,

Prophetess Laneen Haniah,

Dr. Intimacy

PS Want to read more about how my husband and I met? Go to our website I share our story on the site.


What Are Your Surroundings Saying About Your Inner Man?

October 11, 2009 at 11:02 pm | Posted in Articles | 11 Comments
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Six months ago my house was so clean that you could eat out of my toilets. My papers were neatly filed on my desk. My clothes were categorized in my closet according to season. Each of my 7 children’s clothing items were labeld with their initials and folded precisely in their own drawers. Whatever I needed, I could easily find because everything had a place. Anything that was out of place was immediately spotted because disorder is so apparent within an orderly environment. Yes order eminated from every nook and cranny of my home, including every closet, under every bed and even in the garage.

Last week tears welled up in my eyes as frustration set in on me. My desk was so messy that I couldn’t even find something that I laid on it just moments earlier. The floors were so dirty that we needed to wear shoes in the house. My children’s clothes were scattered everywhere: under beds, in toy chests, under the couch and in drawers that they did not belong in. I couldn’t find anything without going on a scavenger hunt through piles and piles of clothes, papers and toys! Junk ( or what appeared to be junk due to the disregard with which it was treated) was shoved into every nook and cranny of the house. There was total disorder, complete chaos.

Today I spent 7 hours cleaning my room up. As I was sitting here at my clean desk reflecting on the labor I did today, which only got my room about 70% restored to what it was, I had an epiphany. My surroundings were a reflection of the state of my inner being. You see six months ago, I experienced a life-changing trauma. It was a devastating event that I was not even sure I would survive emotionally, as depression was suffocating me and insanity offered itself as a welcomed escape. Before that heart-stopping moment, I was in a place of total peace. I was operating in my purpose, sure of my destiny and enjoying the effectiveness of my existence on earth. But that all suddenly changed when one of my sons was raped by a family member. I was thrown into confusion, anger, sadness, etc…

Little by little and day by day, as I slipped deeper and deeper into inner turmoil and chaos; my surroundings began to change. It was not intentional. I tried to keep it all together as best as I could. I was still cleaning and it seemed that I was doing the same things that I had always done, but I wasn’t getting the same results.

I realize now that I could have bought the best cleaning products on the market and cleaned daily. It wouldn’t have mattered. My soul was emitting chaotic energy and that energy controlled the temperature of my environment. As I look around me right now, I have those tears in my eyes again. But they are not tears of frustration this time. Instead they are tears of relief.

My surroundings in this almost clean room speak of the peace that is being restored and the inner order that is returning. I am not 100% quite yet, maybe only 70% like my room. Nonetheless I am pressing my way back into the energy of God’s grace. His rhythm is harmonizing with my soul and I see myself not only being restored, but becoming better than I ever was before!

What are your surroundings saying about your inner man?

In His Strength,

Prophetess Laneen Haniah

Dr. Intimacy

In the Midst of a 40 Day Fast

October 10, 2009 at 10:18 pm | Posted in Articles, Fasting | 1 Comment
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I’m on day 8. My hunger seems to be increasing. My throat is tight, my teeth long to chew. I cried out in my spirit, “Lord increase my hunger for you, let me long to chew on the bread of life in this same way!”

It’s funny, as we closed out Sabbath today, I had a sip of juice which is part of our ceremonial practice. That one little sip of juice made me so nauseated. I am thankful for that experience because I know that I am in way too deep to just spontaneously and haphazardly change my mind. I would get sick if I didn’t phase out of this fast slowly. Phasing out would give me too much time to think about all that I’d be giving up if I quit now!

I am seeing tremendous change in an area of my life that I have prayed over for the last three years. The change is quick and amazing. What else will He perform on my behalf as I offer up myself in total surrender?

I often ask myself and others,

What do you want?

How bad do you want it?

What are you willing to sacrifice to get it?

You see so often we know just what we want from God. Yet we seldom take the time to count the cost of what we desire. Nor do we determine in our hearts to willingly sacrifice to pay the price for our desires. This leads to hope deferred as prayer after prayer and dream after dream remain unfulfilled!

With this fast I am making a declaration before Yahweh God, myself, all people and the devil that not only do I know what I want, I know how much it cost and I am willing to pay that price!

It’s not too late for you to join me and make that same declaration for yourself. Go to and check out the link for “The Revoluion” to find out how to get started on your own “journey of cost”!

In His Strength,

Prophetess Laneen Haniah

Dr. Intimacy

He’ll Never Leave You Hangin’

October 1, 2009 at 4:45 pm | Posted in Articles | Leave a comment

Yahweh will never leave you hangin’! I know that’s slang but that is what came to mind today and I reflected on yesterday. Well let me tell you what happened first and then it will make more sense…

The last couple of days I have been feeling extremely depressed and I do mean EXTREMELY. That is very uncharacteristic for me. I am generally very upbeat and radiantly joyful. I laugh 100 times a day and smile 1000! I knew part of it was due to recent relationship turmoils. A lot of people have hurt me in the last couple of months. It has been so painful as the ugliness of people’s hearts are exposed. However, that sad song is an old one. Nothing I haven’t overcome before. To people who trash my friendship I have this motto, “If you think I was good with you, wait ’til you see how much better I am without you!”. (LOL, ok I just made that up, but I think I’ll use it again!)

Anyway back to my point — I was depressed beyond normal grief over lost relationships. It was so bad that I was constantly having visions of my own death and they were welcome. It dawned on me that I was under a spiritual attack. I needed to call for back up because I was much too weak to fight on my own. I alerted people to pray for me and I’d say with in about 12 hours the stronghold broke and I was back to my cheery happy self.

The really interesting part was this though. God didn’t just swoop down and sprinkle joy dust on me. It was actually truth that made me free. He revealed to me the cause of my depression — the door that I had haphazardly left open for the spirit of depression to attack me. I was in the midst of a colon detox which was rieking havoc on my body due to the fact that I could not purchase the necessary supplements to help facilitate the removal of the toxins that were being released. Therefore, I stopped the detox. The Lord revealed to me that this left my hormones out of whack and that is how the enemy came in. Father then sent me to a website where I got the information that I needed to complete my detox more effectively.

It was the revelation of ‘why’ that caused my joy to return. I went shopping and got the products that I needed and I am on my way back to a healthy balance – Amen!  You see God will never leave us hanging. The problem with most of us is that we think answered prayer works like magic. We pray for we want and God zaps into our lives – wallah! Then when He doesn’t “zap”, we are dejected and say, “my paryers aren’t working”.

Often times in prayer we are seeking solutions when Yahweh wants to give us answers. A solution is an immediate fix that does not necessarily require understanding. An answer on the other hand is the understanding that will enable us to create a solution for ourselves. Receiving an answer as opposed to a solution is superior because with the gained understanding of an answer we can prevent the dilemma from happening again and help someone else in the same perdicament!

So if your problem isn’t fixed after you pray; it’s not because God didn’t answer your prayer. It’s because you didn’t work to find a solution after the answer came. He will not leave you hanging! He will give you the wisdom you need and lead you to a well of resources but it’s up to you to draw from the well the solution that He has set before you.

In His Compassion,

Dr. Intimacy

What to do when nobody cares…

September 30, 2009 at 10:15 am | Posted in Articles | Leave a comment

I probably shouldn’t post this today. I am wallowing in my own human weaknesses. Dare I be transparent at this moment? Yes… why not? It seems that nobody cares anyway. Besides, someone else may be feeling the same way.

Yeah that’s right, I said it seems like nobody cares… well… at least it feels that way. Have you ever felt that way? Like you would give your two right arms and all your left fingers to help everyone but not get so much as a strand of hair back in return? Well, that’s an analogy but you get my point right?

I am supposed to be encouraging people on this blog, but I tell you the truth I am seeking encouragement myself right now. I work my fingers to the bone with nothing to show for it. I build free websites for people that are valued in the 1,000’s of dollars and they don’t even bother to read them or use them. I pay people’s bills for them and they won’t even show up for one of my preaching engagements. I cover my client’s webhosting fees when they are unable to pay them and then they suddenly change companies without even saying goodbye. I spend countless hours trying to help people write books and they won’t even to commit to finishing them.

I do so much for people, for my family, for The Kingdom. Now before you go preaching at me, I know that Yahweh (God) is my Great and Exceeding Reward. He appreciates me I know, but His appreciation is elusive sometimes… meaning it is only accessible in unseen realms where it doesn’t soothe my human emotions. If I were paid for the value of the gifts and talents that I expend on others I would be a millionaire many times over. Instead I am squandering away in poverty because people don’t appreciate gifts!

I am searching for a reason to continue, my path is dark right now. But I know that I won’t stop serving and doing and being excellent. Even if without reason… I will do it instinctively because that is how God made me. I will not distort the fabric of my character because of another human beings own flawed character. So go ahead… keep ignoring me… keep stepping on me…. keep not appreciating me! I WILL STILL SERVE AND LOVE YOU ANYWAY!  I will not change because God has never changed on me. Maybe I am more like Him than I realized, now that my friend is encouraging.

Encourage yourself in the Lord today by reminding yourself that if you are used and abused and persecuted without cause you are in the company of Jesus!

Please pray for me, I need it. And if you appreciate this article take the time to write a comment and let me know! Or even better yet go to my website and make a donation so I can go get my nails done, LOL. It’s and my nails cost $35 (I like the natural tips :-).

In His Compassion,

Dr. Intimacy

Love Makes You Valuable!

September 21, 2009 at 1:33 pm | Posted in Articles | Leave a comment

The Bible says in the Book of Corinthians 1, chapter 13 that without love we are useless nobodys (Amplified version).

So many of us struggle with feelings of worthlessness and low self-esteem.  We pray, bind and rebuke. We search for purpose and comfort. Yet the answers seem to elude us as we continually become more dejected and slip further and further into the pit of worthlessness.

I use the term “low self-esteem” loosely because I believe as Christians we should not esteem ourselves highly. That is a worldly term that causes us to focus on some fanciful notion of our supposed greatness. Thereby brining on depression when we can’t discover our greatness. We don’t have to be great, God does. He must remain on the throne and get all the glory.

So you see the only thing that makes us valuable in the earth is to be vessels of His love! Your purpose on this earth is great… it is to love Yahweh God, Love yourself and Love your fellow human beings. When you do this you will feel good about yourself and your own value as a useful addition to society.

Now, what really is love though? Good question. Why don’t you go to and listen to the Love series. It’s a free download. Empower yourself by learning how to really Love and become valuable and feel great about yourself and your life!

In His Compassion,

Dr. Intimacy

Why are we so sensitive?

September 18, 2009 at 12:43 pm | Posted in Articles | Leave a comment
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Why is the Body of Christ so sensitive – so “touchy, fretful and resentful”.  In the book of 1 Corinthians chapter 13 verses 4 – 8, the Apostle Paul teaches us that love is not touchy, fretful or resentful (see amplified version).

Yet I run into more touchy emotional Christians than I care to recall. It is ashame how we allow the devil to destroy covenant relationships due to our sensitivity and touchiness. This is not of God. Being overly sensitive is birthed out of pride and self-centeredness.

You know why? This is true because when you become sensitive about something you are thinking only of yourself and your own emotions. You are esteeming yourself more highly than others. You are not looking beyond a person’s words to hear their heart or see their need. Sensitivity makes our intercession ineffectual. For we cannot pray the perfect will of God when we allow our own emotions to overpower the voice of the Holy Spirit.

Yahweh is a God of reconciliation. Therefore, if you have an issue with a brother or sister in Christ, work it out with them!!! Don’t sit and sulk and run to go tell others about “how hurt” you are. Grow up in The Spirit of God and put childish things away. If you talk about a brother or sister in Christ concerning an offense that they caused you without first bringing it to them, you are gossiping!!!

This is the plain truth. Even if you take it to your prayer partner or pastor – if you haven’t first given that brother or sister an opportunity to rectify the matter with you, you are slandering their name and marring their character. A gossiper is a murderer in every sense and The Lord will not be pleased when you act so childishly and carelessly hurt another saint in this way.

Let’s be one Body and minister the ministry of reconciliation to one another. Most of the times offenses are a matter of poor communication and misunderstandings. Silence breeds confusion and contempt. The longer you hold it in, the more time the devil has to plant seeds deceitful seeds of discord in your heart and in the heart of the person you have the grievance with.

So beloved this is what you do:

1) Take it to the Lord in prayer (but not for weeks and months because the bible says don’t let the sun go down on your anger — you got until bedtime to pray about it!).

2) Take it to the person who offended you immediately because the bible says that we ought to lay our gift at the altar and be reconciled to our brother or sister before we shout and dance and tithe over it! (Mat 5:23)

3) If it cannot be rectified between the two of you, take it before a mature saint that can mediate

4) Whether it is peaceably resolved or not, get over your hurt feelings forgive and go on in God!!!

In His Compassion,

Dr. Intimacy

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