40 Days of Fasting – Day 24

October 27, 2009 at 12:37 am | Posted in Candida, Fasting, ganoderma | Leave a comment

Monday October 26, 2009

The Soul (mind, will, emotions)

Am I awake enough to feel anything today? LOL, I think not. I hardly slept a wink last night. After my cleaning marathon yesterday (and wonderful intimacy with my husband before bed) I really thought I would sleep like a log. That was so not the case though. I was wired. My body was tired but my mind wanted to clean some more, lol. Furthermore a terrible thunderstorm – the likes of which I have never heard in 34 years, made it impossible to sleep soundly. Nonetheless, I feel good this morning and ready – after a little more sleep – to tackle some more housework!

The Personal Goal

I have set Monday as the day that I will do my youngest daughter’s hair. I did her hair last Monday and figured I should just make this her assigned day from now on. I used to try and do all of the girls hair in one day but it is too rough. So my main goal today is that I stick to this plan.

That would be simple enough – if it weren’t for the fact that laundry is still all over the place. Although I got much accomplished yesterday, I never did finish the one thing that I had set out to do, which was the laundry. Now Sunday is my laundry day and if I don’t finish it today it is only going to get worse and worse so I really have to get it done today. This is saying a lot thought as I probably have about 15 loads to deal with!

The Body

I have a headache this morning but other than that I have to say I feel pretty good, especially to have gotten so little sleep! My body seems to be feeling stronger and stronger everyday and I am sooo thankful for this. The Candida symptoms really seem to be subsiding. Although headaches seem to be getting worse daily. I don’t know if that is due to the computer use or the fact that I have been in-taking more dairy. I am not changing my course though. Slow and steady – that is my focus. In time it will all be corrected as I continue to feed my body right.

The Juice

Like I said, I think I will stop writing about this as I have really settled into my green juice. I may start recording what I ate. Today I had oatmeal, oat toast w/butter, and two strips of turkey bacon fried in grape-seed oil for breakfast. I didn’t eat lunch, I just drank water. For dinner I have grilled salmon, brown jasmine rice and steamed broccoli and cauliflower. I drank coconut kefir with the meal. I ate 1 square of dark chocolate (60% cocoa and about 4g of sugar) for a late night snack. I drank 8 oz of Detox tea, 8 oz of ganoderma coffee w/organic cream, 16 oz of green juice and 7 glasses of water for the day. I also remembered to take all of my supplements and vitamins.

The Detox Process

Went twice, hard and sticky. This is not a good sign. What makes it sticky? Isn’t that a lack of fluid? But I am drinking my 8 glasses of water! I will have to look into this. I don’t know what the problem is with these sticky bowels.

The Human Influencers

Emmanuel was great today. We worked side-by-side tackling the laundry once we both finally got out of bed, LOL. I get my work done so much more quickly when he helps me. Funny thing is I don’t even really think it’s the physical labor that he does (as I often have to go over his work, LOL). It is more just the encouragement and moral support that adds so much strength and pep to me for me to get it done more quickly.

The Spirit

I feel blessed in my spirit tonight. That revelation that I received last night really lifted me and I rode the wave all day today. Life is getting better and better.

The Daily Grind

I did it!!! I did it!! I did it! LOL, I got all of the laundry washed and almost all of it put away. And even though it was late as heck I got my daughter’s hair done too! I am so amazed by God’s grace (His empowerment)! Thank you Father!!!

The Daily Reflection

God’s grace is more than His unmerited favor, it is His supernatural empowerment. I have often received this “sudden” energy to clean that I have right now and have never really understood why. Emmanuel called them streaks, but I didn’t like that because I knew it wasn’t a streak, it shouldn’t be a streak. It was something that was accessible to me always that I just failed to tap into. Now I understand – it’s God’s grace that I yield to. It is His empowerment to do in His strength what I cannot do in my own. When I stop operating in my own might and succumbing to the frustrations of my inadequacy, that is when His grace can take over in me and really get the job done!!!

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40 Days of Fasting – Day 17

October 19, 2009 at 9:22 pm | Posted in Fasting, ganoderma | Leave a comment
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Monday October 19, 2009

The Soul (mind, will, emotions)

FRUSTRATION! Why am I having these stupid dreams?! Why did it take me until 3:00am to fall asleep?! Why do I have a splitting migraine this morning?! What is the point of all of my labor? None of it seems to be paying off!!!

The Personal Goal

I don’t want to set personal goals today. I feel like quitting. I really want to give up on this whole idea! But since I am writing I might as well set one… sigh. Ok I need to drink some veggie juice today and try to eat a little more than I did yesterday. I also need to get some cleaning done and do my girls’ hair. There, goals set…

The Body

I feel terrible. My head has not hurt this bad since I first started the cleanse. This headache is really intense. I know the greater part of it is the lack of sleep. I probably only slept for about 2 hours. Still though, I just thought I would be feeling better by now. I have minor pains but it’s not too bad. My eyes are really bothering me though. I don’t know if it is allergies or lupus – both ailments cause eye dryness and irritation and so does Candida – so who knows. I also have sores in my mouth which will make eating extremely difficult today!

The Juice

I made the veggie juice. I call it green juice. It is made of spinach, parsley, green apple, celery and cucumber. I like to throw in a little ginger for an extra kick. It tasted pretty decent. I actually miss drinking it and I am glad I got it down. Hopefully it will help me eliminate today. No ganoderma today. I just can’t allow the caffiene in my system. I do believe the herb is helping me to get it through caffienated coffee at this point is just not an option. Maybe once the fast is over on occasion but caffiene is something I am working to get out of my life!

The Detox Process

Speaking of elimination, it’s a no show. I feel bloated and constipated. I obviously just don’t know what I am doing here because nothing is going right. I need to do an enema or SWF but I just really don’t want to. My bowels need to be moving on their own! I don’t know what to do. I am at a loss.

The Human Influencers

A sister called me from Orlando today. Her name is Pastor Joy. She is one of my social networking friends whom I don’t actually know other than by our profiles. She said she felt led to call me and I so appreciated her obedience. We prayed together and it was powerful. It was really encouraging to speak to her even though it had nothing to do with fasting, she lifted my spirit.

The Spirit

I feel bad tonight. The condition of my body today — extreme fatigue, sleepiness, burning eyes and splitting migraine – put a damper on my energy for prayer and study. Other than the prayer with Joy I did nothing else. I plan to read a bit after posting but I just feel like I am not hearing God’s direction anymore about what to do. I blew it somewhere. I have gotten off track. Lord please help me!

The Daily Grind

I spent all morning minding my baby girls. Dad was gone all day so it was just me and my little ladies. They are always fun and challenging and a lot of work. I gave baths and started my 1 year old’s hair. Her hair is a nightmare. It usually takes about four to five hours to do it, and that’s not even anything elaborate. It just gets very tangled and I have to do it very slowly to minimize pain and hair loss (never mind my sanity). I was really going to cut her hair down today so it would be easier to manage but I really don’t want to do it. I think I am going to have to though. Hair day is a torture on her and me, besides she has plenty of years to grow it back.

Other than that just chores and labor all day. I said my body kept me from praying but my schedule today was probably more of a factor. Days when Dad is not around it really makes a difference. And just think, he is looking for some part-time work that will keep him out of the home daily! We need the money but Lawd can my nerves survive, LOL.

The Daily Reflection

Frustration is blinding… It’s amazing; I do feel overcome by frustration right now and it seems to have blinded me. It’s like I am in a fog. I can’t find my direction. I don’t even remember why I started this thing.

40 Days of Fasting – Day 16

October 18, 2009 at 10:42 pm | Posted in Fasting, ganoderma, Master Cleanse | 1 Comment
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Sunday October 18, 2009

The Soul (mind, will, emotions)

I feel so good this morning! I stayed in bed so late, LOL. I was not sleep the entire time but I just wanted to lie. Yesterday was a very difficult day for me physically. My body really suffered, but my soul and spirit soared. I wake up this morning in the afterglow of it all. One strange thing is that I have been having really weird dreams almost nightly. They are not really nightmares but most do seem to have an unpleasant tone. There is a sense of anxiety in the dreams. Hmmm… What’s this all about?

The Personal Goal

OMG (oh my gosh). I just have so much to do today, an always really. I just am feeling really behind though. A speaking engagement always throws me out of my normal routine. That is why I really appreciate the honorariums that I receive because I truly do lose out on business and income when I have to prepare for these engagements.

Anyway, I must get my oldest daughter’s hair washed today! I am supposed to do it once per week and I never did it last week so it is looking rough. I want to cook a healthy dinner tonight too and read a certain book to the children. I also hope to finish up our scriptures from yesterday and I need to update the calendar on my website.

Wow, that’s a lot and it really is not even the half of what I need to get done, but that will do as goals for today.

The Body

My body felt good this morning! I was so happy when I woke up because I was really getting discouraged about my body. Last night I had a fever of over 100 and just felt generally “yucky”. I don’t know what has caused this dramatic change but I am happy for it. I mean I don’t feel great, but I do notice a significant difference. The only thing different that I did that I can think of is drink the ganoderma and curse sickness. Upon laying down last night and feeling a migraine coming on I just got so frustrated that I said out loud and with sincerity, “I curse this pain in my body! I curse candida. I curse systemic lupus. I curse you at the root and send you back to the pits of hell from whence you came in Yeshua’s name!” I don’t really know what I was expecting; I was just so tired of feeling bad. Was it the prayer or the ganoderma or both working together? I’m not sure I will have to ask the Lord, I just know that I am happy.

The Juice

As with yesterday, I skipped all other “special drinks” today other than the ganoderma coffee drink. I had a dual experience with ganoderma yesterday. First off, the drink tasted great! It was an instant latte powder similar to General Foods International instant coffees. It was indeed pleasurable. Secondly, I noticed an IMMEDIATE change in my body. It was as if I had drunk liquid pain killer. My headache went away, my body stopped aching, I received and energy boost and my mind was more alert. Thirdly though, and this is the other side of it, it made my chest hurt! The distributor assured me that there was no actual coffee in the drink. I was under the impression that I was drinking a “coffee like” drink. But my heart started palpitating so hard that my chest felt like it was going to explode and I was having trouble breathing and I got dizzy!

This surprised me because this is common reaction that I have when I drink coffee on an empty stomach, and I did drink this on a VERY empty stomach – two weeks of empty! I thought to myself, “Surely this drink must be made of real caffeinated coffee!” So I looked it up on the website when I got home and yes indeed it is made of real coffee. This really upset me because I did not want to drink coffee and would have never drunk it on an empty stomach!

Nonetheless, because of the positive experience in my body yesterday (even though I was tricked into drinking it) I decided to drink more to see if I would have the same experience. I of course ate first this time. I had an a half of apple and drank a kefir, soy, and berry smoothie. I forced it all down because my stomach is just really not interested in receiving food right now and I feel full so quickly and for so long after I eat. Anyway, man this is long juice entry, LOL… I did experience the same boost but it didn’t seem quite as dramatic. Let’s see what happens tomorrow.

The Detox Process

Only one elimination today and it was rather hard. That was a bummer. I really want my bowels to be regular without enemas and flushes. I can’t live on them for the rest of my life. Hopefully my system is just trying to regulate. I wonder if the caffeine messed me up?

The Human Influencers

Really no report here today other than to say seeing my children eat healthy food is very encouraging. Sometimes they like, and sometimes they don’t. However just to know that I am being a good example in front of them and laying a solid foundation is wonderful motivation for me to keep going!

The Spirit

I’m tired and kind of numb tonight. It was a very “cares of the world” kind of day. I had many chores to attend and did not have a chance to at any moment slip away to read or pray. At this moment it is about 10:30 pm and I am exhausted. I only care to hurry through this entry, post it and go to bed. I pray for a better spiritual day tomorrow.

The Daily Grind

Grind, grind, grind indeed. I am glad that I stayed in bed late because it was all chores all day once I got up! I washed hair, cooked dinner and read stories. I did not read the scriptures to the kids though. I would have normally chosen the scriptures over the stories but I had promised them and also the stories are in a school book that needs to be returned.

Dinner tasted good, well to me anyway and to some of the kids, LOL. I made vegetable and lentil stew. It contained a mixture of lentils, carrots, celery, squash, green beans, onions, garlic, green pepper, and red pepper. Basically a vegetable nightmare to most kids, LOL, LOL. It was good to actually be able to eat some though. I could only manage down a very small bowl and I had a medium sized green salad. Again it was difficult for me to eat this. I actually wish I could just go back to not eating… sigh. I am down to 105 lbs now and my body was pushed to the limit with two weeks of no food. I know that I have to keep rebuilding my diet daily; however I am on a very strict diet and will remain so until this 40 days ends in 24 more days.

The Daily Reflection

Should one keep a promise that they never should have made? I was thinking about this today as I read the stories to my children. I really wanted to read the scriptures to them but I had promised that I would read the book so I did. The book turned out to be really boring; it wasn’t what we thought it would be. That is why it is better to say “I will try to…” instead of saying “I promise to…” then we leave ourselves with a graceful out.

40 Days of Fasting – Day 15

October 18, 2009 at 10:40 pm | Posted in Fasting, ganoderma, Master Cleanse | Leave a comment
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Saturday October 17, 2009

The Soul (mind, will, emotions)

I feel really good this morning! I have not woken up feeling “really good” in a few days so this is great. I am very excited about preaching today. I also feel hopeful and encouraged. Also Emmanuel is going to be able to come with me!!! We have someone coming over to watch the children for us. This never happens because we have not found anyone in the last 4 years since we moved to Dallas to be reliable in watching our children. A lady recently moved near us from Florida and she has 7 grandkids and loves children, so she’ll be coming over today for the first time. I am hopeful that this is going to work out because I really love her spirit.

The Personal Goal

I have but one goal today and that is to preach with the power of the Holy Spirit! I want to minister the Word of Life to these young ladies and their mentors and for their lives to be forever changed. I want to be God’s vessel today. I want Him to be heard and seen and not me!

When I get back home I just want to enjoy the rest of Shabbat with my children, relax and do Havdalah again this week (the Sabbath closing ceremony).

The Body

The usual aches and pains this morning; quite honestly it seems as if the severity is increasing daily. In addition to the pain, I had a terrible migraine when I laid down last night and woke up with the same. I have also been experience numbness and tingling in my hands, arms, feet and legs which seems to be getting more frequent and stronger. I feel extremely sleepy and drained. I will really need Yahweh’s power to rise up in my today as I minister. I just don’t have any of my own physical strength to offer.

The Juice

This morning I started off with a disgusting cup of Detox tea. Then I decided to go another route. I have some ganoderma coffee drink here. I’ve had it here for a while. The distributor gave me some free samples and I told him I could not try it until the consecration was over (because I just thought that would be too pleasurable, LOL.) However, he insisted that I must drink it immediately saying that it would only aide my Detox efforts. Supposedly ganoderma is an herb (a fungus specifically) that has amazing healing properties from everything to headaches, to cancer, to lupus, to candida, to allergies… the list goes on and on. I figured since I am feeling no better with what I have been doing; why not give it a try. So we’ll see!

The Detox Process

I am so happy to report that I eliminated twice today on my own! I was so worried that I was going to have to go back to SWF because yesterday I didn’t go all day and I really felt bloated and uncomfortable. It seemed like it would be the same way today, but then things got moving. Prayerfully I will have the same result tomorrow!

The Human Influencers

The people that I preached to were my influencers today! Many, many people came to me after I finished speaking to thank me and tell me how blessed they were. I sold a good number of products too – well for the size of the crowd present it was good. Seeing this positive result after I spoke meant so much to me.

The Spirit

My spirit feels wonderful tonight as I close this day out. It was an accomplished day. We didn’t do Havdalah tonight. I was sooo tired. However we did read some of our scriptures for about an hour. I just feel happy and blessed and close to God.

The Daily Grind

The physical part of ministry was my grind today. Just having to get dressed and leave the house was rough; sitting around waiting to preach once I got there; having to talk to people that I didn’t necessarily enjoy afterward. I actually love speaking to most people after I preach, but every once in a while there is one or two that are just tedious and hard to bear. I had two of those today, LOL.

Emmanuel being with me today was great! However him leaving with me was bad, LOL. What I mean is once we got there I was so glad that he was with me. However, I was really annoyed this morning as we prepared to leave. He caused me to leave very late. It was almost as bad as taking the kids waiting around on him, LOL! I was really glad to have him though. He is awesome and I got to show him off. He is looking great too, on day five of his master cleanse.

The Daily Reflection

Standards should never bend, waver or wobble. That is why they are called STANDards. We ought to STAND firm when it comes to our standards. Today I had to go against the grain. At the youth conference there were other speakers before me, some of whom promoted the use of condoms and birth control for “safe sex”. Being a preacher of the Gospel I had to plainly say when I spoke that I could not promote the use of such agents because the bible says that sex outside of marriage is sin. I went on to say that there is nothing that you can do to “protect” yourself when the hand of God is against you! I am sure that made some in the room upset, but uncompromising STANDards will do that sometimes.

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