Are You Wife Material?

October 25, 2009 at 11:21 pm | Posted in Articles, Marriage and Dating | Leave a comment
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A little girl attracts a playa, while a woman attracts a man:

A whore attracts a pimp, while a wife attracts a husband!

This was just on my heart tonight because so many single Christian women talk to me about wanting to get married. I sympathize with my Christian sisters that come to me sharing their desire to marry a nice Christian brother that will love the Lord and treat them right. Even though I have been married for 10 years now, I will never, ever forget what it was like to be a single woman desiring a husband.

Nonetheless I have learned something over the years and it is this: There is a difference between “getting married” and “being a wife”. A lot of women want to get married but they don’t want to be a wife! Now I know that sounds crazy but in 10 years of ministering in this area I have observed this to be true. People are in love with the “ideal” of marriage yet detached from the (sometimes harsh) reality of what it means to be a spouse!

I can recall all of the relationships that ended up leading to fornication that I was involved in before I met my husband. I really wanted to get married, but I didn’t know how to be a wife. I only knew how to be a whore. I know that sounds harsh but I am voicing a reality that I lived at that time of my life. After having been raped and molested from the ages of 2-7 at various times; then continuing on into a life of promiscuity as a teenager; graduating to a life of stripping and prostituting as a young adult – all I knew was how to be a whore. That is not what I wanted to be, but it was all that I knew to be.

At the same time, my emotional development had been literally suspended during the years of abuse. This is typical of most sexual abuse victims. We continue to grow physically and often times even mentally and intellectually. However, emotionally we remain suspended in time. I was trapped in an emotional time warp; a desperate little girl looking for a hero to rescue and redeem me. I was a victim who continued to get victimized by villains!

A couple of months before I met my husband God told me to begin to read and recite proverbs 31 daily and to pray for my husband-to-be. I had no idea who this husband was or when or how I’d meet him. As a matter of fact it was preposterous thought because I had just broken off an engagement with a man whose brother I had an affair with just about a month before getting engaged to! I certainly didn’t think God was ready or willing to bless me with a husband.

I simply followed the unction of the spirit and began reciting that scripture every day. At the same time I got everything in my life in order. My house was spotlessly clean. I cooked dinner almost every night. I exercised regularly to keep my body fit and strong. I prayed fervently and had an awesome relationship with the Lord. I cleaned up my friendships and moved any and everyone out of the way that would hinder my development.

Two months after the last episode of fornication in my life, I was an empty and available vessel. At last I had become a wife. I was no longer a whore; I was no longer a little girl; I was no longer a victim. I was a grown woman that was ready for a grown man. I was a wife that was ready for a husband. When I was ready not only to get married but to really be a wife — that is when God released my husband.

It’s interesting to note that my husband Emmanuel had been celibate nearly six years before we married and had only dated one person during that time (which he regretted). He proclaimed in faith that he was just “going to wait” until God sent him his wife, and other than the one dating incident that is exactly what he did. My reason for mentioning this is to say that I believe it was me who delayed our coming together. You see, he was ready and waiting for his WIFE. He didn’t want ’round the way girl. He wanted the WIFE that he had been praying and believing God for and God could not bring us together until my life and character was a manifestation of answered prayer for my husband.

Anyone who has followed my ministry works you know I keep it raw. So let me just be true to my calling and tell it like it is! If you really want to get married you need to start becoming a wife so you can attract a husband; and if you really want that husband to be a man you need to start acting like a woman and put away your childish emotions and games. See playas are attracted to little girls and their games and pimps are attracted to hoes and their sex!

If you have an ear, hear me so that 2010 can be the year that you marry your destined soul mate!!!

In His Compassion,

Prophetess Laneen Haniah,

Dr. Intimacy

PS Want to read more about how my husband and I met? Go to our website I share our story on the site.


Why are we so sensitive?

September 18, 2009 at 12:43 pm | Posted in Articles | Leave a comment
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Why is the Body of Christ so sensitive – so “touchy, fretful and resentful”. ┬áIn the book of 1 Corinthians chapter 13 verses 4 – 8, the Apostle Paul teaches us that love is not touchy, fretful or resentful (see amplified version).

Yet I run into more touchy emotional Christians than I care to recall. It is ashame how we allow the devil to destroy covenant relationships due to our sensitivity and touchiness. This is not of God. Being overly sensitive is birthed out of pride and self-centeredness.

You know why? This is true because when you become sensitive about something you are thinking only of yourself and your own emotions. You are esteeming yourself more highly than others. You are not looking beyond a person’s words to hear their heart or see their need. Sensitivity makes our intercession ineffectual. For we cannot pray the perfect will of God when we allow our own emotions to overpower the voice of the Holy Spirit.

Yahweh is a God of reconciliation. Therefore, if you have an issue with a brother or sister in Christ, work it out with them!!! Don’t sit and sulk and run to go tell others about “how hurt” you are. Grow up in The Spirit of God and put childish things away. If you talk about a brother or sister in Christ concerning an offense that they caused you without first bringing it to them, you are gossiping!!!

This is the plain truth. Even if you take it to your prayer partner or pastor – if you haven’t first given that brother or sister an opportunity to rectify the matter with you, you are slandering their name and marring their character. A gossiper is a murderer in every sense and The Lord will not be pleased when you act so childishly and carelessly hurt another saint in this way.

Let’s be one Body and minister the ministry of reconciliation to one another. Most of the times offenses are a matter of poor communication and misunderstandings. Silence breeds confusion and contempt. The longer you hold it in, the more time the devil has to plant seeds deceitful seeds of discord in your heart and in the heart of the person you have the grievance with.

So beloved this is what you do:

1) Take it to the Lord in prayer (but not for weeks and months because the bible says don’t let the sun go down on your anger — you got until bedtime to pray about it!).

2) Take it to the person who offended you immediately because the bible says that we ought to lay our gift at the altar and be reconciled to our brother or sister before we shout and dance and tithe over it! (Mat 5:23)

3) If it cannot be rectified between the two of you, take it before a mature saint that can mediate

4) Whether it is peaceably resolved or not, get over your hurt feelings forgive and go on in God!!!

In His Compassion,

Dr. Intimacy

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