40 Days of Fasting – Day 14

October 16, 2009 at 10:13 pm | Posted in Fasting | 2 Comments
Tags: 100 days of consecration, 40 day fast, Dr. Intimacy, fasting with children, how to fast, Lemonade Diet

Friday October 16, 2009

The Soul (mind, will, emotions)

I feel absolutely crummy this morning! I seem to be detoriating more and more. I was in so much pain last night that I had to take a pain killer, which didn’t help by the way. Lying here this morning it is apparent to me that I cannot make it another 4 weeks on no food and that is very discouraging. What am I going to do? God why aren’t you helping me be stronger?

The Personal Goal

Ummm… getting out of bed. I feel like I can’t make it out of bed. I have to finish getting my media packages ready for tomorrow to I can sell them. I also need to wash my hair and my clothes. All of these things must take place today so that I will be ready for tomorrow! I don’t know where or how I will find the energy to do this… and to finish in time for Sabbath!

The Body

My body is awful. I am in pain. My throat is dry and hoarse. My eyes are stinging. My heart is beating so hard it feels like it is going to shut down. I am having trouble breathing. I am in really bad shape. This has to stop. This was not my goal and I am not going to kill myself trying to prove something to myself. I had a dream right before waking that I was talking to the lady that created the Candida product that I am taking. She was shocked when she found out that I wasn’t eating and she told me, “You have to eat while you are taking this product. It won’t work if you don’t eat.” Does that mean…

The Juice

I got up and was too weak to make my vegetable juice. My husband made it for me, but I couldn’t drink it! My body just rejected it. I don’t know how else to describe it other than to say my body wouldn’t allow me to drink it. It was then that I was looking at a green apple that was on the table and knew in my heart that I had to eat that apple. That is just what I did. I ate half a green apple. Later I drank kefir and berries. I am feeling much better – not great but still much better than I was this morning.

The Detox Process

Nothing to say here, there is nothing to report. I did not eliminate today and I am very disappointed about that. It took me all day to finish that apple because I got full so quickly. I put a little raw almond butter on it and later ate a plate of raw spinach leaves. I can’t believe that I have not eaten in 2 weeks and the first food I eat gets stuck in me! I guess I am going to have to do SWF or an enema when I get home from preaching tomorrow. I can’t do it tonight. I am too sleepy!

The Human Influencers

Melody came to my rescue again today. I cried as I ate that apple. I felt so defeated. I did not accomplish my goal and I just wanted to give up. She spoke life into my spirit and helped me understand that I can still stay on the 40 day fast while making the necessary adjustments. This is the same thing that Brother Franco (the healing evangelist) told me on the phone. You were right Franco, you were right! You are truly the expert in your field. My humble apologies for not listening to you!!!

The Spirit

I feel really blessed tonight. God really dealt with me today. He comforted me and helped me to understand what He really wants from me out of this 40 day fast. He wants me to hear from Him daily and throughout each day. Instead feeling like “I know” what I need to do and have the plan all laid out, He wants me to breathe Him in all day and hear His voice. That is why there have been so many changes and I get that now. This is not about not eating, it’s about learning to rely on the constant guidance of His voice. I am loving this!

The Daily Grind

Amazingly, I got all of my goals accomplished today. It took quite a while for me to get out of bed and really get moving. As I stated yesterday, I did indeed suffer for denying myself sleep. Nonetheless my laundry is done, my hair is washed and my media packages are all ready. Eating and hearing God gave me so much more strength today. I still feel weak but my spirit is thriving and I know that my body is going to overcome this.

The Daily Reflection

It is so hard sometimes for us to distinguish between what God really wants from us and what we think He wants from us. We often substitute His perfect will for our lives, with our imperfect interpretation of His will! That is what I did about this fast. I am so glad to be able to see the light. I pray that this will be a permanent change in my life!